I have been there before. You think your life is over because she does not return your affection. Trust me, that small detail needs to be a deal-breaker. You will start to feel better once you relent your pursuit. Just because you don’t have a good job or good hygiene or good looks doesn’t mean you have nothing to offer the opposite sex. You have charisma and that is super important. Remember that time you made your grandmother laugh with those wacky jokes about indigenous peoples. See! There’s still hope, my boy.